Amazon.com: Funny Retirement Cards Humorous Retirement Speech - write-out-loud.com Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. ~ Ernie Harwell. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. Go make the most of your days and enjoy your retirement. for the rest of the department. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." I saw a fruit running from the police recently. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Short Retirement Quotes, Wishes, & Sayings - Chaparral Winds Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. 31 of the Best Retirement Jokes | ThinkAdvisor They said he was a real pro for a first offender. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. What do you call a snake that informs the police? Money is only a tool. "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. May we live up to your example. 2. Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. quotesgram.com. Junior Seau. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. of loyal and dedicated service to Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?, Driver: Sorry, I was just trying to catch up with traffic. Officer: There is no traffic. You cant win until you do this. Dishes who? We, the members of the NYPD, The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. There was no other cop on the beat. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Why did the coffee call 911? Cars are backed up for miles. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Take Without Forgetting. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. picclick.com. West, "Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living." # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . R.C. Financial Planning Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. As long as youre working, you stay young. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. 36. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? R.C. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. 58 Funny Retirement Quotes to Make You Laugh Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. - Unknown. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes We have rebelled against them. Margaret Nash, Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache unless you play golf. Gene Perret, I work harder now that I have retired from corporate life, than when I actually worked, but I love it. Catherine Pulsifer, I am a free man. Funny Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. Funny military sayings - Special Speeches If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. No gold watch could ever top it. Abigail Charleson. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Before you criticize, wait. All the best!". We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. 64. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. "Retirement is wonderful. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. Charles Lamb. You're no longer cuffed to a job. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. A Lifelong Friendship. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. A cop gives a woman a speeding ticket, and she wants to know why he didnt give her a warning first. Dave Ramsey. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. 13. 49. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. Are you married to a police officer? An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. Hi Pension. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. No matter your connection to or feelings for cops, police jokes will have the whole family laughing. Thank You for the 28 years you gave A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. Finally a police car comes up. What to Write in a Retirement Card (72 Wishes, Quotes, Sentiments and Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services What are the four food groups for cops? Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. on the next chapter in your life, Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. A bloody clock!" Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 7. Everywhere I touch it hurts.". You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Why are policemen such great volleyball players? Act like the inner young person you have always been." Your tireless work ethic and 21. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Retirement Quotes | The 30 Best Inspirational & Funny Retirement Quotes 39. Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. The police retirement gifts listed above are awesome, for sure. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. 25. 53 Funny Retirement Quotes - Best Wishes and Quotes.com - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. picclick.com. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Police retirement is something special. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! To return Click Here. 25 funny and sweet messages to write in a retirement card - Metro Please dont go now. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Retirement quotes from movies, tv series and cartoons: phrases, lines Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. Tricera-cops. Top 69 Retirement Cake Sayings - Retirement Message Ideas The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. Happy Retirement! to date. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. For retirement planning, you should consider other The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. 4.5 out of 5 stars (455) $ 15.00 FREE shipping Add to Favorites Retirement Gifts. Funny Retirement Quotes "Retirement is wonderful. A trisara-cop. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. It was mugged. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes - Presentation Magazine Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes.