Related read: When Is Military Appreciation Month? You had tents?" What do hungry Marines eat? The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. Caller: Sgt. I wanted to join the Marines but I fell just short of their requirements. Home Blog 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition). Evidently, one of my classmates found the talk less than stimulating and fell asleep. What do you call a Marine that has an IQ of 160? I was cold is not a sufficient reason for being caught in the female barracks. 4. What is a Soldiers least favorite month? ", The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband, or illegal drugs in your possession? USAF Manual It is generally inadvisable to eject over the area you have just bombed, 6. A cookie and a piece of cake joined the army, but eventually, they abandoned their fellow soldiers. In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. Why? I asked. Unfortunately, the sun was shining Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. Unless you pull the stick too far back, then they get bigger again very quickly". My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. 38. The only time you have too much fuel is when youre on fire. Soldier: Sure, buddy. He grabbed a bagel and took a seat. USMC: OHH! Guys, do you know some jokes related to military aviation? Sometimes I think war is Gods way of teaching us geography. One day, I was told to report to my commanding officer, who ordered me to escort Ms. Raye. Scan the list below to find some hilarious military one-liners that will make your Navy friend laugh like crazy. ", The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. My friend kept asking what my military rank was, but I kept telling him its Private. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. But something struck me as odd. Landings are mandatory. But other times, we also want some good clean humor with no chance of ruffling feathers. I asked an employee whether they still carried my deodorant. I dont see it.. After a very heavy landing in Halifax, the Flight Attendant announced; Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. No one knows their way around sarcasm more than our U.S. troops. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. They throw out a pistol. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. 64. An officer calls a young Soldier to attention, scolding him for not attending camouflage training that morning. Soldier: WTF, you had air conditioners? The ships operations officer entered the messdeck, his eyes bleary and at half-mast. The Marine said Are you crazy? Then one day I couldnt find it. The MPs read the letter, saluted, and left. He told them "you must find your own way to this beach head for 0600 tomorrow morning, there you will be tested like never before". In-flight Snacks Little treats sealed in a bag that can only be opened by using a chainsaw. A lot of the jokes on this list I heard while I was in the Marines, but I want to give credit to our friends at ralleypoint.com and unijokes.com. 4. It took the poor guy all day. The only time you have too much fuel is when youre on fire. Top 18 Funny Military Jokes To Share With All Your Military Friends August 15, 2021. Funny Military Jokes | Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps - VetFriends Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. Why arent there any insects in an Army base? Why does the military have a strict dress code for ceremonies and events? A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. Well, one time, as I proudly puffed away at our NCO club, an older sergeant growled, Hey, kid, your candy bars on fire.. The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now.. A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! The dog is there to bite the pilot if the man so much . Hotel/Car Rental Shuttle Bus Vehicle subject to paranormal effects. A lieutenant stood up and asked, Is that 24 hours our time or 24 hours their time?. The soldier remarked, How long was I in there for?. The military refers to a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country.. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool. I just put them all together for your amusement. It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? Anecdotes 1. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? 28. Aviation jokes | Key Aero I am the PMC at a Dinner Night next week, where apart from my Boss and myself the rest of the guests are Army (from an array of cap badges). Funny Aviation Jokes - BEST FUNNY JOKES The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. Since it was a formal affair at a country club, I went in my officers dress blue uniform. Long Haul Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the base operator asked him. The Marines will kill everyone inside and then set up headquarters. 12. Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? When I was a Navy student pilot, I visited the home of a classmate. The soldier swore under his breath at the Marine and told him he wanted to get up and get a drink. S | Auto land not installed on this aircraft. The reason? Rather than move, he called the bridge: Hey, he said, can you shift the ship 15 degrees? Not long after, I had a large kettle of soup simmering. All you have to do is remove the dirt.. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. No, we dont, she said. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. What do you call a training sergeant whos very kind and respectful? Sergeant, he said, what if we dont have any initials? Matthew Nazarian. Son, you are going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. I was stationed in England with the Air Force when I went to a local barber. Minimum Connecting Time Time it takes an Olympic Gold Medal sprinter to run between two gates, 61. Do you know where the sensor is located? my coworker asked. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. Me: No, I dont. What does ARMY mean to you? Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor - Pinterest 100+ WW2 Trivia Questions For HistoryBuffs, 17 Military Personnel Talk About The Creepiest Thing Theyve Seen OnDuty, 100+ Scary Stories to Read in the Dark to Leave You With Chills[2021], A Writers Diary Entries From Mid-April,1986, 30 Spooky Paranormal Stories From Former MilitaryPersonnel, You might be in the Coast Guard if people have looked at you and said, The Coast Guard is part of the military?, You might be in the Coast Guard if your child points to the ship and says, Thats where my parent lives!, You might be a Coastie if you head an HH-65 and. Please speak after the tone or, if you require more options, listen to the following numbers: A. I set out a roach bombthey defused it. Ocean Pearl, I answered. Welcome aboard Flight 245 to Calgary. I have been telling the same joke for a lot of years, but today I will change it up. He then asked conspiratorially, Do you want to keep your sideburns?I perked up. Soldier: No way, you guys had air conditioners? MARCH! When the the Marine came back the Soldier nodded and thanked him for the drink, very pleased he pulled one over on the Marine. Discover the best military jokes with this expansive list that covers some old ones and some new ones to brighten your smile. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. All images on our website are the property of their respective owners. Now, I was shy of six feet tall, but when our drill sergeant called for all six-footers to line up, I stepped forward anyway. 9. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing! 15. Types of Rifles Every Shooter Should Know About, Rifle Vs. I served in Korea, said Uncle Jerry. Military jokes! 1. As part of my Naval Reserve requirements at Emory University Dental School, I attended a talk about proper dental procedures following nuclear warfare. 30+ Best Military Jokes And Puns | Kidadl When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. Home; Jokes; Pictures; Videos; GIFs; Runway 37 Comics; Weird Wings; Today I Learned; Quizzes; Jokes. Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. On an internal Flight with a very Senior Flight Attendant crew, the pilot said, Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. Here's an SR-71 Story That'll Make You Laugh - Popular Mechanics Killed bin Laden. 1. USA: Choppers Aircraft Carriers Airshows Aviation History Aviation Humor Books Civil Aviation Cold War Era Drones F-14 Tomcat Helicopters Losses/Aviation Safety MiG Killers Military Aviation Space SR-71 Blackbird SR-71 Top Speed U.S. Navy Warbirds Weapons Yearly Summary. My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. [Easy] How to Clean Rust off of a Gun Without Damaging it? If at least ONE military joke below doesnt make you giggle, well, wed be concerned. This happened several times times throughout the flight. Trust us; we have plenty of those, too. They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. One day, the rain was pouring like crazy and a big puddle formed in front of a local pub just outside the Navy base. He thought he would be home about 13:30. Rather than fire a shot, I shouted out the first half My father was serving in a port city in postWorld War II Germany when a ship laden with GIs docked. Rodrigues there? We recommend our users to update the browser. 35. Eternal Piece But yours is.. The captain returned my salute and responded, LMD 67. Theyre U.S. AF! 40. To the Soldiers surprise, the Marine was laughing about it. He says, Anyway, enough about me. As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and eventually one of them will. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. You can always leave the joke in a funny mug, or a pilot mug if the person is into aviation. Soon after arriving at basic training, we were marched to the base barbershop, where we were told wed find a clipboard with our names on it. I enjoyed the humor section quite a bit. Black said he jokes about getting a sense of what America thinks about its military by the movies that come out, and the only decent military movie in recent years, in his opinion, was "Top Gun . It helps to keep the pilot cool. Jokes Archives - Aviation Humor Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. Related read: 11 of the Best Veteran Memes That Perfectly Sum Up Veteran Humor. Had a new guy conduct a boom test on a howitzer by yelling Boom! down the tube in order to calibrate it P | Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. 2. Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the most serious sergeants. An Airman, Soldier, and Marine are sitting around talking about hardships they faced on their last deployment. While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. He holds the bulb and then the world revolves around him to screw it in. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. 4. Where are you from?

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